In (Ephesians 5: 25-33) husbands are commanded to love their wives. In husband and wife relationship, submit characterises a wife, love characterizes a husband. The husband does not withhold his love for her until she learns to submit. Similarly the wife does not withhold submission on condition that he loves her first. Each discharges their roles faithfully as unto the Lord.
How Can a husband Love His Wife?
I never grow up with affection, it was a rough upbringing. The word love was used as a word to tell the truth or lie to the opposite sex in order to win her. To put it more bluntly love was associated with sex, and so it was not a word you could possibly use towards your mother, sister or cousin.
Husband loving their wives is;
1. Modelled in Christ sacrificial love for his church to a point that He died for her.
2. Modelled in the way husbands take care of their own bodies.
This is not the kind of love that makes your hair stand or gives you goose bumps. It is not that romantic feel good love or the love we see on soap operas, and hear in love songs. You love your wife not because her figure is on point, and her legs look sexy! You love her because it is what God expects you to agape her as Christ ‘agaped’ the Church.
Usually there is an emphasis on dying on the part of the husband. What I find difficult about this passage is not the dying part. Maybe it’s only Uncle Lawrence, but I believe most men out there will take a bullet to protect their wives. Most husbands will take a bullet for their wives, die only once for the wife and go wait for her in the sweet by and by in heaven. What I find difficult however is that in loving my dear wife, I will have to die not once, not twice but daily laying down my life for my wife. She might have waken up on the bad side of the bed, or it is her bad hair day. For husbands whether she is in a good or bad space you got to wake up daily and decide to love her again and again. We have to die daily in order to make her live happily everyday. Dying to self in order to make her have a life in abundance. The standard set by Jesus is too high, therefore as husbands we must thrive to reach that ceiling.
These days a lot of things do happen in cozy hotels and guest houses. And romantic dinners in upmarket restaurants or fast food outlets. But in those old days things usually happened in the bush. True love had to stand the test of creeping things including poisonous snakes. When she begins to make fanny sounds and her body shaking and vibrating, chances are it’s not the sex she is enjoying. She might have been invented by those dangerous red ants. Red ants are dangerous, they crawl nicely onto your body and then almost at once they begin to bite you everywhere, I mean everywhere. But where would a marriage man take his other woman to in those days except the Junglelicious Guesthouse? And so both the singles and couples found the Junglelicious Guesthouse hospitable despite the danger of romancing on the bed of thorn, or being beaten by snakes. There in Junglelicious Guesthouses, honey and bees are found together.
Thabo was a ladies man who used his good looks and enticing words to get ladies wrapped around his fingers. For some days he pursued Tsakani until Tsakani accepted to go out with him for a date walk in the bush. When I say bush it might sound terrible for some of you born and breed in cities, the closest you get to a bush is a Zoo and you pay to enter. Truth is we had to cross rivers to visit uncles and relatives. We also had to pass through the bushes to go to another village, attend school or just going into the bush to play. So, don’t even feel sorry the bush was the best place full of wild fruits for free. So Thabo and Tsakani walking hand in hand through the bush enjoying each other. Thabo said, “Tsakani I love you so much”.
Tsakani struck with love giggling and looking shy whispered a question; “really Thabo?”
“Yes my love” said Thabo”.
Thabo Stopped walking, holding her hands tight and said to her, “Look up Tsakani my love, look into my eyes”. Her eyes looking faintish and wet with tears of love forming like clouds in her eye sockets, she looked in his eyes.
He said, “My love for you is so big that I am ready to die for you my love”.
At this she smiled and again her shy face went down.
“Don’t be shy my love”, He said. With one hand he lifted her chin up, with another he embraced and kissed her”. The sound of birds, the noise of the dry leaves they stepped on, their first kiss was recorded in the jungle. This to Tsakani was it, she has given a man her lips there is no going back.
They walked momentarily in silence trying to digest the kiss that just happened. Then as they approached a thicket, they heard the sound of the roaring lion coming out of the thicket. Thabo was the first to run very fast leaving Tsakani behind with dangerous prey. Tsakani running after Thabo screaming, “wait for me my love”.
Thabo responded, “run for your life”. He kept on running and Tsakani shouted, “But love you said you are ready to die for me”. Thabo shouted back, “Not with a lion, just run for your life”.
In your hotel rooms and fast food restaurants love is not really tested. As you enjoy eating your chicken and chips in hungry lion, in Junglelicious guesthouses lovers were faced with real life hungry lions. Village love has stood a test of red ants, snakes and lions and we are still standing even today, such is love. The story that made headlines for a few days and then went dead quiet was about a husband’s love for his wife. The two were walking on the banks of the crocodile infested waters of the Kafue river. Unnoticed the crocodile pushed the woman into the water and carried her into deep waters. The husband did what Jesus would do under the circumstances. He jumped into the river and fought the beast so hard that it let her jaws off the woman and he brought her out of the river alive, but she lost a leg. This is the tale of strength, courage and real love. He rescued his loving wife from the jaws of the beast, he fought the beast and won! Every woman deserve this village man, who demonstrated her love for her wife that if need be he was prepared to risk his life to save hers. Love is not for selfish men, love is for selfless men who can give and give if need be have their last drop of blood squeezed out of him just to protect the wife.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blames” (Ephesians 5: 25-27)
Oh, I love this part of the scripture. A man was left in the house to stay rent free as the landlord went far away. As years passed the house deteriorated & dropped in value. The only reason he couldn't repair the broken ceiling, or cut down the grass or fix that leaking pipe was because it was not his own house. Years letter the landlord returned and said to him, "I have decided to give you this house, it's yours". The man was so shocked and wished he had maintained & took care of the house. The house he neglected with broking ceilings walls, broken door handles & broken windows was presented to him in the exact condition he had kept it.
Love your wife just as Christ loved the Church, cleansing her with his own blood & presenting to himself a radiant, beautiful, stunning lovely church to himself.
Husbands, take care of her. Maintain her, beautify her and proudly present her to yourself a beautiful wife without spot or wrinkles. She must be better than you found her emotionally, spiritually, financially etc. If need be, die daily so that your wife can breath, live & shine.
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