The two eastern women who shared Laban as their father, will now share one man Jacob as their husband.
Imagine growing up with a sister who made your life a living hell in your fathers’ house, and just when you thought marriage will put an end to the sibling rivalry, only to realize that you will not escape your annoying sister, because that other woman in the life of your husband is actually your own sister.
Jacob has arrived in the land of the people of the east with a twofold mission;
The first mission is to hide away from his angry brother Esau who wants to kill him for stealing his blessing. Secondly, to find a wife from the household of Uncle Laban who is Rebekah’s brother.
DATING SITES
Where do single people hang around in order to find love, romance and marriage? When I am on the flight high up in the sky, I see people busy on their phones or gadgets. When I jump on the train except for occasional preachers courageous enough to share the gospel on the train, the usual picture is passengers focused on their phones. Even on the taxi where people are compacted in a small space, one would think that closeness would encourage conversations but no, even on the taxis social media rules.
Even businesses have realized that bill boards and newspaper adverts are not enough anymore, people are on the net and so that is the best place to sell.
I find the question, can people find real love and marriage on social media so ancient and usually a denial of our realities. Social media has recorded so many successful relationships some have ended up in marriages and real babies are born out of relationships that started on Facebook or Instagram. Seekers of love and marriage go to dating sites, or join Facebook groups like “Singles & Couples 4 Christ”. Of course social media relationships also go through cheating, break-ups and divorce just like any other relationships. Yes, there are crooks on social media just like there are crooks in real life.
But where did our patriarchs go to find love, romance and marriage?
“There he saw a well in the field….” (Gen.29:2).
The well was not just a place to draw water and water the sheep, but a dating space where beautiful damsels the daughters of men will come to draw waters of life. The travelers to the city asking for direction and the men would turn up to rest and offer their flocks water to drink. As the animals are drinking, the bachelors and the daughters of men will have time to chat and socialize.
Isaac’s wife Rebekah was found at the well, Moses found his wife at the well, And Jacob found his wife Rachel at the well. And you are wondering why you are still single, dude find the well!
Proverbs says, “drink waters from your own cistern, running waters from your own well”.
The well was not only a place of meeting, but the word “well” is used to symbolize a wife for a thirst man. Since his second mission was to find a bride, the well is an indication that Jacob is on a right course to accomplish his mission.
The romantic story in scripture narrates a man who has travelled a long distance, finds a well and waits there. Then comes a single lady to draw the water and water the sheep if she was a shepherdess. And then a traveler will rise up to help the single girl draw water and water the sheep for her. The girl will run back home to tell her father about this kind and helpful traveler. The traveler will be invited home and the rest is history, marriage happened.
Jacob arrives at the well and sees Rachel, it was love at first sight. Unlike on social media where you look strong yet very weak in real life.
You drive on social media yet in real life you don’t even own a wheelbarrow, at the well you have to step up, and up your game if you want to make gains in dating.
The heavy stone that closed the mouth of the well was singlehandedly removed by Jacob to impress Rachel. He took care of her and watered the sheep for her. He kissed Rachel and began to cry out loud, clearly this man was in distress, and seeing Rachel is a sign that he has finally made it to his Uncle’s house, he is safe.
Before some of you begin to think kissing and crying out loud is the best way to win a girl, wait a minute dude. You are not Jacob, you are no where near the well, in fact many of you just have paintings of wells and have no clue how a well looks like in real life. Forcing your lips on her and crying out loud on the first day you see her, is actually kissing her goodbye before she can even say welcome.
Our dating sites and times are completely different, that kiss was not the romantic kiss, it is a family affection, Rachel is Jacobs’ cousin sister.
The response of Laban when he heard about his nephew’s arrival made me question why we have painted Laban so badly.
Immediately he heard of his sister’s son he hurried to meet him, he embraced him, kissed him, and brought him home. In his own words Laban said to Jacob, “you are my own flesh and blood”.
But after 21 years of Jacob living with Laban, when he was departing Laban didn’t kiss Jacob, he only kissed his daughters and his grandchildren.
It is not the welcome kiss that matters, but the farewell kiss demonstrates the bond you shared together. Laban’s refusal to kiss Jacob goodbye shows how their relationship was complicated and deteriorated first by love and marriage, and second by family business. If doing business with family is difficult enough, what about marrying within the family?
PAID DOWRY FOR RACHEL, PLAYED WITH LEAH
Laban at this time has not demonstrated that he was a crooked man. Laban is an instrument of punishment in the hands God to bring justice to Jacob.
You reap what you sow is about to be a reality in the life of Jacob. Laban said to his nephew, just because we are family you can’t work for me for nothing. Come on nephew, tell me your price, how much should your salary be?
Friends this doesn’t sound to me like a lobola negotiation, more like a work contract to be signed after working for a month for nothing.
At this point I am thinking Laban is such a gentleman, not willing to exploit his sister’s son. Many in cities tend to bring relatives to be “glorified” maids and garden boys. You don’t treat family like that, if you were paying a maid R3,500 a month, give your relative that amount. Jacob at this time is just salivating at his cousin sister Rachel.
Laban had two daughters, one was Leah the first born with beautiful weak eyes. And the second daughter was Rachel who was whole round lovely in form and very beautiful.
Uncle Laban has already seen Jacob’s weakness for Rachel, he just sets the bait hoping Jacob is going to bite.
This is the reason why when the servant of Abraham came to marry Rebekah for Isaac, Abraham sent him with gifts to present to the bride, and to the family.
No one goes to find a bride empty handed, financially broke. Jacob’s trip to Laban was escaping, marriage was just an excuse for Isaac to release him.
He was not send out with gifts to present to his bride of choice and her family. When Laban went out to meet the servant of Abraham, he was met by a man who carried great wealth and gifts.
But when Laban hurried to meet Jacob he found a distressed crying man, with no money and no means of financial independence.
This man became Laban’s burden to connect him with a job. This is a man incapable of marrying and taking care of a wife. The dude can't even afford brazzilian hair.
Jacob names his price, I will work for seven years in return you will give me your second born daughter Rachel.
Why would a man suggest to labor seven years for a wife? Jacob is still a deceiver and hopes to achieve two things;
firstly having no financial resources, by asking for seven long years he is out to impress and convince Uncle Laban that he is a man strong enough to make sacrifices for a woman he loves.
Secondly, knowing the custom of the first daughter being first in line to get married, he hopes in seven years Leah would be married, and remove any obstacle for delay.
Little he doesn’t know that he has set a precedence and pegged the bridal price at seven years wage, hard labor which will work against him in future.
If Jacob was a man of financial independence he would not be working for his uncle, he would just present the gifts, take his wife and go back home.
Seven years seemed like just few days to him because of the love he had for Rachel. Laban never mentioned who he will give in marriage,
“It’s better that I give her to you than to some other man”.
Give her to you might be Leah or Rachel, this is the gap Jacob failed to see confronted with another deceiver, Jacob is about to realize he has finally met his match.
“Then Jacob said to Laban, give me my wife. My time is completed, I want to lie with her” (Gen. 29:21).
Guys please don’t use this language on African in-laws even if you have paid lobola in full. You don’t have to be so explicit, “My in-laws I have finished paying lobola, give me you daughter I want to have sex with her”, haibo….we don’t do that here.
Though he has waited for seven years, Jacob exhibits some anxiety and desperation to marry and have sex. He does not even name his wife as Rachel, he simply asks for his wife so he can have sex with her.
That again gives uncle Laban reason to maneuver. He wants a wife to lie with? I will give him a wife, full stop!
Laban before giving him a wife, he gives him a wedding feast that usually took a week of celebration.
The bride was presented to Jacob at night when Jacob was drunk with wine.
Darkness and drunkadness a cocktail of disaster.
The decision made in the night clubs while under the influence of beer, are regrettable in the morning when you are sober and have come back to your senses.
He consummated his marriage that night, in the morning he turned to admire the beautiful face of Rachel, only to find the faint and weak eyes of Leah rolling at him.
“Lear, what's going on? Where is my wife?” Jacob asked. Leah again rolling her sexy eyes,
“darling you are looking at her, I am your wife, we finished everything last night, you took my virginity remember?”
I suggest wine or any form of alcoholic beverages must be illegal on weddings, too many men regretting after their wedding night.
I am married and stuck with Leah, but I am in love with Rachel. I have settled down with Leah, but my heart belongs to Rachel. A man who is married to Leah will not rest until he gets his Rachel.
“Why have you deceived me” Jacob asked Uncle Laban. This is pay back time baby you got to love this. Jacob’s father Isaac said the same things about him, “your brother came and deceived me”.
Now the deceiver has been deceived. The player has been played, the cheater has been cheated, the supplanter, has been supplanted. The crook has been crooked.
Welcome to the home of deception, your uncle Laban is your mother’s brother after all it runs in the family.
Now the irony is in Laban’s response, please pay attention to what Laban is about to say to Jacob.
“It is not our custom here to give the younger daughter in marriage before the older one”.
Let me break it down so we are on the same page here. Jacob explained everything that went down back home, how he bought the birthright from his elder brother, and how he, with the help of his mother Rebekah deceived the old blind man Isaac to give the firstborn blessing to him instead of Esau.
So, Laban is basically saying, here we got culture, we got traditions that we keep. Where you come from you can just ride over the firstborn, but here you got to respect our customs around the firstborn.
What is ironic here is that Jacob remembered how he manipulated his brother and fought very hard to get the privileges of the firstborn.
He wanted everything that belonged to the firstborn, and now he is given a firstborn Leah as a wife, a test of his own medicine.
You have always wanted the first…the first….and the first, so deal with it, Leah is the firstborn.
Isaac upon realising he had blessed the wrong son, he had no means of reversing the blessing because the blessings are irrevocable, once blessed you are blessed beyond the curse.
In the same way Jacob having consummated the marriage with a wrong woman, it is irreversible.
Some actions in life are irreversible, always check the identity of the person you are marrying because once “I do” you will not undo!
“Finish this daughter’s bridal week and we will give you the younger one also in return for another seven years of work”.
Leah had a full bridal week of feasting, Rachel the beloved simply entered her marriage quietly like that other woman or side chick.
The seven years bride price was set by Jacob at first, Uncle Laban uses the same measure for the second daughter.
If you intend to buy something don’t be overwhelmed by how good the product is that you just give the biggest offer, because next time around you will be made to pay the same price or more because you set a precedence.
Two sisters in a forced polygamous marriage, the battle for love, attention, affection from one man will see the two sisters competing each other on who will give Jacob more children.
Jacob played his brother and father, he will be played by two wives and two maidservants.
Jacob was the mother’s boy, Rebekah’s beloved and spoiled brat.
Jacob was commanded and controlled by his mother whole his life, now he will be controlled by two women in his house.
Men who have been under mama’s control are more likely to be controlled by their wives.
While the women are competing each other for children,
God in his Sovereign plan is completing the number twelve to begin the twelve tribes of Israel.
Look out for Part Two of Leah And Rachel: From Sibling rivalry to rivals in marriage.
LAWRENCE MUSUNTE
+27845517018
lmusunte@gmail.com
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