So my wife and I were summoned to a church hearing. The sin my wife committed was to turn up at a church function in a NEW DRESS.
Oh yes! As I was writing about Mamfundisi my brain took me back to this day and my heart just broke I couldn't hold back my tears.
Looking back I realize how spiritual submission took away even the little power from me to protect my wife.
My dignity as a husband and father was non-existent as many times I was shouted at in front of my family, and once my wife was told to shut up or else he (senior Pastor) was going to beat her up!
My self-esteem sacrificed on the altar of spiritual authority.
She is summoned by my senior Pastor& Mamfundisi to explain how she could rock up at a church function in a new dress without informing Mamfundisi when, where, how much and who paid for this dress.
I sat down in that office like a small boy and his girlfriend being scolded by the headmaster.
Working under this senior Pastor I was paid R600 a month. So yes it's not possible to buy my wife a dress costing more than R600.
Not that we needed to even explain. But those who have served under spiritual leaders who are control freaks know too well that if you make a stand, the wrath to be unleashed on you will be unbearable.
The Xhosa wife of our neighbor and her husband went out on Friday. She saw a dress and said to her husband, "love, I am taking this dress for Irene".
The husband was shocked that it was strange but they bought the dress.
Friday night the couple dropped the dress, it was indeed a miracle for someone to buy my wife a dress a night before the prestigious church function. This couple were Christians, but they were not part of the church we attended.
As my wife was being scolded by Mamfundisi how she needs to report everything to her. How she ought to be humble etc. My subdued captured brain was still asking what crime is it if my wife has a new dress?
Why should a grown up married woman be asked to report what she buys?
Or to seek permission from Mamfundisi to go buy herself a pair of underwear?
So when I say I hate spiritual control I have witnessed & experienced the worst kind.
I had to ask permission from my senior Pastor when someone request to visit us at our house.
I had to say to my senior Pastor this couple by the name of X want to visit us. It was excruciatingly tiring to submit under control freaks.
In this Church no member is allowed to bless you with money or material things without passing through the senior Pastor.
Seeing my wife rock up at the Church function in a new dress to them meant some member in their church blessed my wife without asking permission from the set man of the house.
Finally we were cautioned that even if a person who is not a member of the church gave us anything, we need to inform the set couple first.
I am glad that I am free from the control of spiritual bullies, and some Mamfundisi that want to dominate our wives.
This kind of spiritual control is cultic, it's evil.
The reason I share this is to allow my vulnerability to help people see what goes on behind the scenes in these churches, and also to speak to those who have encountered worse than this to actually relate.
We need to begin opening up about spiritual bullying in churches today.
I believe You. I hear You. I Stand with You.
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