Dear White friends,
WHAT I WANT MY WHITE FRIENDS TO KNOW
I thank God to have come in contact with you. Some of you are Christians who have modeled Christ in your walk and in your intent.
Some of you are not even religious but you touched my life with your Ubuntu, the love and kindness that even puts me as a Christian to shame.
I know some of you align with
#BlackLivesMatter and genuinely seek to see equality and justice for everyone.
I miss my Pastor, yes I still call him my Pastor even if he doesn't fancy the title. I miss those rare moments I have coffee with my White Pastor who is even more radical against racism and agrees that white privilege is not a product of black imagination.
I mean our white friends who are family to us.
It's those moments we are together over taken in conversations without holding back.
Our friendship is not that of superior and inferior but of equals. I laugh at how we can 'gossip' white people together instead of you feeling under attack, instead you even add more wood to the fire.
I love that you have ate Pap in my house with kapenta and mopani worms. The cries and laughter we have shared.
In the same breath I know racism. I know it so well that I can even smell it from a distance.
I have seen Xenophobia from a distance. I have never been a victim of Xenophobic attacks, but living 21 years in Muizenberg, Cape Town has exposed me to racism.
This is what I want my white friends to know;
1. "I am not a racist because I have black friends". Having black friends doesn't mean you are not a racist. Saying I am not a racist is sufficient.
2. When I am talking don't assume you know where I am going with my thoughts and cut me short.
Just as it is cruel to finish of sentences when a person with a speech impediment is speaking, it is rude to finish off my words. Wait for me to finish my sentences than making an assumption.
3. When a black person complains about the economy, it's insulting for a person with 3 houses, 3 cars and over R1million in the bank account to try to fit into our complaining. It's okay to be rich. You don't have to fake poverty to fit in. I love you just the way you are; rich and privileged.
4. When you invite me to your house please, please, please I am not comfortable to be in the same room with a dog or a cat.
The whole evening I will waste my energy trying not to be scared and pretending to be OK when the dog is trying to lick me. Put the pets in another room please.
My brain freezes in the presence of dogs and cats. (this does not apply to all blacks)
5. Cape Town is in Africa. Can you stop calling everyone who is not South African as "he is from Africa".
6. I am black not a thief. When we bump into each other in the shop or streets you don't smile at me.
But when we meet at the beach walk muizenberg - st. James walk you give me a smile from the distance.
I am equally as scared of you as you are of me.
7. Don't speak slowly in English to make a point. We inherited the same British education, now we think and dream in a foreign language.
8. I am black not less intelligent. Don't be shocked when I disagree with you.
9. Get over it! It took 400 years of oppression in Israel. It took 400 years for slavery to be abolished. You can't shake off 400 years of oppression in 20 years.
10. When I am working for you don't tell me you doing me a favor. I am working!!!
11. "Lawrence you are different from them" hell No, I am them! That kind of talk aims to divide and rule. I am not different from them, I am them.
12. "This country has gone to the dogs" that's a racist rant calling African leaders dogs.
13. When I bring my child to a white school, the standard of education cannot go down because my black children have come to the white school. My children are learners, not teachers or administrators.
14. Expensive schools are not expensive. It's an attempt to segregate black kids from white kids bearing in mind white privilege. Let our children mingle in diversity.
15. Adopting a black child doesn't mean you are not a racist.
16. That unsolicited lecture about sugar at the coffee corner after church service is demeaning and humiliating to black people.
I have sugar at home. I am not going to pretend in your sight to get half a teaspoon sugar in my tea when I take 3 teaspoonful at my house.
17. "You guys are hard workers. South Africans a lazy"
White employers who perpetuates this narrative put a chip on the shoulders of foreigners.
The foreigners believe the narrative and begin to feel themselves loved by whites and therefore superior to locals.
You are dividing us. You do it to entice your cheap foreign labour, by causing a rift between black people.
18. The tone of my skin doesn't define the country I came born or came from.
So the question shouldn't be; "Lawrence are you from Nigeria?" The right question is; "Lawrence which country are you from?".
So if we meet at Waterfront you ask where I am from, my answer will be Muizenberg because that's where I am from.
When you assume my nationality I let you guessing while I answer No to every question.
Are your from Ghana? I say No. Are you from.... No... No... No!
19. Do you know Chris Banda? He is also from your country? Banda is a common name. There could be over 10, 000 Chris Bandas in my country. No, I don't know that Chris Banda.
20. Is there DStv in your country? That is the most stupid question from an educated person. We have internet, electricity, television & radio stations. We have game parks, but we don't live in the wild devoid of civilization.
21. What language do you speak at home? When my child is struggling with Afrikaans as a language at school it doesn't mean the child's parents are speaking their mothers tongue at home.
Even children from English speaking homes struggle with Afrikaans.
The idea that a child who struggles with Afrikaans is because at home they don't speak English is laughable!
Comments